Showered in grace

Grace has been the topic on my heart recently. I have learned a lot about giving grace. God has stretched my heart so much, filling it with more and more grace as He continues to present me with opportunities to give it away.

But what’s been interesting most recently is how much God has been opening my eyes to my desperate need for His grace, as well as how much He truly gives to me.

A recent favorite passage is 2 Corinthians 12. God has brought me back to that chapter countless times in the past few months, especially, gently reminding me to thank Him for exploited weaknesses as they are His opportunity to bring glory to Himself. It’s funny how you begin to see familiar passages of Scripture in a different light as you walk through different seasons of life. I’ve read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 countless times, but it hasn’t been until recently that God has brought new meaning to those verses.

I love the language Paul uses as he describes his situation. A thorn in the flesh. I have no idea what Paul’s thorn was, but as I look back on the past few years of my life and the various thorns I’ve encountered, I can sympathize with Paul on how painful thorns can be. Paul pleaded with the Lord to remove this thorn. I’ve been there, pleading for relief from a hard semester, a frustrating friendship, or a place of loneliness. Thorns consume our thoughts, our speech, our whole life sometimes it seems.

And then God answered. And He answered in a way that only the perfect Father can. He gently told Paul no, opening his eyes to a much bigger picture. He revealed to Paul the depths of His grace, the sufficiency of His grace, the perfection of His grace.

And Paul rejoiced. He rejoiced because God granted him open eyes to see how this thorn that was exhausting him, pushing him to his limits, was an invitation for God to come in and work.

It’s often when I am at my weakest point, the end of my rope, so to speak, that the veil is removed and I see God in a new way. When I’m broken and empty and I have nothing left to offer, God shows up with a cup overflowing with grace, and He pours it over me.

And so with BIG thorns or little thorns, I’m learning to look past them to the bigger picture of God working, and I’m learning to rejoice. And friends, as I’m learning to rejoice, I’m also learning that there is nothing sweeter than the refreshing shower of God’s grace and power poured over me.

Perspective change

I just found out that I can literally fail my final tomorrow and still pass. Happy day. Of course I’d rather have an A than a C+, but something about knowing that I can’t fail has dampened my mood to study. So here I am, writing a new post instead.

Can I be transparent for a minute? I have had a really long few weeks. Between school and life and being sick out of nowhere, I’ve just been worn out. But as always, the Lord is so good and patient with me, even when I’m full of complaints.

I’ve been fortunate enough to spend extra time in Bible study this week and He’s taught me so much! And of course when I say that, I immediately think, how bad have these past few weeks really been if the end result is more communion with Jesus? So maybe they haven’t been all bad.

One thing I’ve learned is that when I get in the Word, God starts talking. And one thing God has been teaching me lately  (for the thousandth time, I might add) is to count my blessings more consistently. So I’ve started compiling a list… (ps these are not in any particular order).

1. After tomorrow, I will be done with ochem lab. I can’t even explain how happy this will make my Mondays.

2. I have the sweetest brothers and sister. I love being a sister to all three of them!

3. Tuesdays and Thursdays are Starbucks dates with my friend, Leanne. We like to spend our time people-watching and debriefing on our lives.

4. This video exists: http://realbeautysketches.dove.us . Go watch it. You’ll be blessed big time.

5. My momma is so smart and helps me to figure out what medicine to take when I’m sick. Really don’t know what I’d do without her.

6. Got a sweet note and a Starbucks gift card in the mail from a friend yesterday. To anyone who wants to be my best friend, I love snail mail.

7. Deuteronomy 32:10-14. This passage paints a really sweet picture of the character of God: watchful, protective, strong, caring. And since He’s the same God to me that He was to the Israelites, I know that He’s all those things to me, too.

8. I finished a 20-minute run(ish). This is a huge accomplishment for me, the least athletic person you’ll probably meet.

9. God bends down from heaven to hear my prayers (Ps. 116:1-2). Is that not the sweetest, most refreshing news?!

10. I’m less than three weeks away from the end of my spring semester.

Even just 10 blessings is more than I deserve, and God has given me way more than that. He is good. Happy Wednesday!

One solitary resolution

Although a few weeks behind, I’ve recently been reflecting on 2012 (as is normally the case this time of year). What a huge learning year it was for me! But of all the incredible experiences and opportunities the year 2012 presented to me, one lesson in particular stuck out that I just had to share:

Joy is from Jesus, not from Emily.

Hello, conviction. I think this lesson hit home during the fall semester. My brain took a beating from biology and chemistry and there were times when I felt I was drowning under tests, grades, and frustrating professors. I found it was really easy to let my mood and perspective be influenced by my circumstances. What a roller coaster I was on.

But it was during my quiet time one morning that the Lord just captured my attention and laid some heavy conviction on my heart about my source of joy. I was letting my attitude be determined by boys, grades, conversations with friends, good hair days, etc. Silly stuff.

So in searching for my true source of joy, I found myself often in the book of Psalms. David talks a lot about his source of joy: God.

Psalm 28:7 – I am able to have joy because God is my constant source of help and strength.

Psalm 16:11 – there is joy found simply in being in the presence of God. The more I spend time with Him, the more He is able to fill my heart with joy.

Psalm 63:7 – because the Lord is my helper, I can have joy no matter my circumstances.

Psalm 128:1 – great joy comes with great obedience.

So if there was one resolution to follow for this new year it would be this: to secure my joy in the One Who gave me life. He is unchanging in the midst of my crazy world, and He has promised to fill my heart with joy until it’s overflowing if I set my eyes on Him.

Happy New Year!

These are a few of my favorite things

I love…

• College football games
• Good hair days
• Not waking up to an alarm
• Thanksgiving break
• Chilly weather & warm blankets
• Coffee in the morning to wake up
• The feeling that comes with finally understanding a chemistry problem
• Class schedules that mesh
• Scarves and boots
• Study buddies
• Any kind of Chinese food
• Two Thanksgiving dinners this week
• Christmas decorating
• Thrift store finds
• Passion music (White Flag, especially!)
• Chocolate peppermint milkshakes from Chick-fil-A
• Clear guidance from the Holy Spirit
• Argyle socks
• Bonfires, hay rides, and hot chocolate
• Pearl earrings
• Long car rides
• Conversations with my brothers
• Family dinners

Quitting: a tribute to Mom

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that earlier this week I had an “I quit” conversation with my mom. It had just been one of those weeks. Test grades were posted and not what I expected, chemistry didn’t make sense (this is actually the norm, but it just added to the burden this past week), and I had spent two days at work listening to my boss try to convince me that nursing wasn’t the right career for me.
I was done.

 

I quit.

 

That’s what I told my ever-patient mother anyway. I love that I can call her and she just listens to me vent. With tears, I poured out my frustrations and doubts over the pursuit of nursing (it’s true I might have been a little dramatic…)

After listening to my monologue, my mom, with incredible wisdom, gently reminded me what I already knew: my sweet Jesus has my life in His hands. He knows where He wants me to go and He knows exactly how I’m going to get there.

So with that encouragement swirling around in my head, I’m opening my books and getting back to work.

I’m a perfectionist when it comes to highlighting.

“Running”

I’ve taken up running. Can you believe it? Well… ok, at this point I’m not quite sure you could classify it as running because I’m completely out of shape. But I’ve started a ten-week running program so hopefully by late November I’ll be able to run a continuous 20 minutes. Fingers crossed.

I get up early. Early. I make some coffee and open up my bible to start the day. Then I head out the door. I run while the weather is still cool and night is just beginning to fade into morning. I come back energized. I’m invigorated by the stunning sunrise painted across the morning sky. I’ve never appreciated mornings like this before. I enjoy this precious quiet time with Jesus before starting a day of classes, work, coffee, and studying.

The most recent lessons the Lord has been patiently teaching me include contentedness and gratefulness. Content with His time, His plan, His way. Grateful that He carries me through every trial, long night, and frustration. Grateful that He generously gives me everything I need to carry out what He wants from me.

And in the quiet of the morning, while my neighbors are still sleeping and the moon is just beginning to disappear, I’m reminded of the beauty of this life. My heart is at peace. And I’m grateful.

Thankful list

What better way to refresh your mind and soul than a thankful list?

Here are a few things I’ve been grateful for this summer:

- A kind professor who was willing to teach a class this summer so I could get out of college sooner

- A federal work-study offer so I can offset the cost of loans for this upcoming school year

- Fruit loops for breakfast

- A best friend who works night shifts so on her days off I can call her as late as I want and she’ll answer

- Good grades

- Sweet friends who text me just to let me know they’re praying for me

- A sweet Savior Who is constantly patient with me as I grow

- Funny lab partners who make 2 and 1/2 hours go by slightly faster

- Coffee

- A new Bible from my precious brother

- Afternoon naps

- Cool mornings and a bench at school where I can sit and read my bible everyday before class

What are you thankful for?